Imagine ! Create

Bitches, Bitches, Bitches.

It has been far too long since I've checked in and there is so much to tell. This Artist Warrior has spent life in a maelstrom of Music and Theatre since last we spoke. Well, that and a craptacular day job.

And the other prominent facet of my Life lately has been...well...Death. I lost two incredible close sympatico friends at the end of last year and beginning of this one: Jorge Maldonado and Brad Davis, soul mates each in their own right.

I'm sure I'll get everyone up to speed eventually. But the following thoughts of today needed to be shared with the world - or they were big enough in my mind that I felt compelled to break my Salty silence.

It is a New Moon today and according to the We'Moon (the Witchy artsy fartsy daily calendar I have), the theme for this month is Imagine ! Create. I find that highly appropriate. It is very funny how that seems to be the trend among many of my friends these days, and I know I've been moving toward that myself, following the impulse to Imagine ! what kind of life I would like to ! Create for myself. I love when little serendipities dovetail into and reinforce our experience.

Yesterday, in my Morning Pages (a daily(ish) ritual journal where I basically try to dump all the mean nasty counterproductive hypercritical thougths that hinder my Artist and let new and more healing productive thoughts flourish - often producing pages and pages of unintelligible but incredibly therapeutic chicken scratch), I found myself, quite inadvertently, starting a list of what I would actually want out of a job, since my current position has become (or rather has always been) untenable. Then this morning as I was searching for the next blank page to start my brain drain, it fell open to something I hadn't remembered writing at all...a list of wants detailing my ideal life. At the top of the page, an admonition to myself to "Remember your power. Be the change you wish to see in the world." and under that a quote of the refrain from a song I don't really know and I can't quite remember the context for but I know it struck me at the time as quite significant when I'd heard it (randomly, on the radio?) the day before: "What do you want?/What do you need?/So how're you gonna get it." And under that the list.

When was this? I asked myself. When did I write this? And more importantly, what happened to that Imaginative Creative impulse?

I checked the date of the preceding entry. December 20, 2007.

The next entry?

Titled "Mourning Pages, 12/23/07." Above that, simply "Jorge is gone."

You know what? The past six months have been crap. And yeah I probably have been floundering/adrift/aimless/inert for much of it. Perhaps sometimes beautifully so, but still.

But ok, New Moon...I accept the challenge. Fuck Retrograde Mercury. I'm beginning to remember my power. I'm starting to Imagine ! I'm going to ! Create.